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Wednesday, May 19, 2010

quarter life crisis..towards the end;)





dulu saya pernah menulis entry 'quarter life crisis' dalam blog.friendster saya.
masa tu tak pasti dah kenal dengan en.suami tersayang atau belum. hikss!:p
kalau dah kenal pun, tak pasti en.suami tersayang baca atau tidak entry itu.
kalau baca, nampaknya memang terbongkarlah segala kesengalan isteri yang seorang ini, tapi biarlah, biar dia tau betapa tidak tenteramnya saya di usia itu, betapa memberontaknya saya ketika itu:p.
kalau en.suami tersayang tak baca sekalipun takpa, takda sebab harus berkecil hati. masih ada peluang sekali lagi, walau garapannya tak serupa dulu.

try jugak search balik di google hasil tulisan saya, tapi baru teringat, saya dah delete akaun friendster.
how google can reveal? wink! saya tak pasti dari mana source entry yang dulu tu, tapi sekarang saya jumpa di google :
http://www.cds.caltech.edu/~shane/text/quarterlifecrisis.html.


The Quarter Life Crisis

  • It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are a lot of things about yourself that you didn't know and may or may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.

  • You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you do not realize is that they are realizing that too and are not really cold or catty or mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.


  • You look at your job. It is not even close to what you thought you would be doing or maybe you are looking for one and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and are scared.

  • You miss the comforts of college, of groups, of socializing with the same people on a constant basis. But then you realize that maybe they weren't so great after all.

  • You are beginning to understand yourself and what you want and do not want. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging a bit more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and add things to your list of what is acceptable and what is not. You are insecure and then secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.


  • You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you or you lay in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough to get to know better. You love someone but maybe love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you are not a bad person.


  • One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap and getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision.


  • You worry about loans and money and the future and making a life for yourself and while wining the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!


  • What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.




Entry di atas ialah saya yang dulu! tiada penjelasan dan penerangan yang jelas. baru sekarang terpanggil hati nak mendalami apakah krisis ni all about sebenarnya? berasaskah? atau hanya tulisan tidak sengaja seseorang yang sedang keliru melewati suku dekadnya?

The crisis does exist! ahaks!



Definition from wikipedia : The quarterlife crisis is a term applied to the period of life immediately following the major changes of adolescence, usually ranging from the early twenties to the early thirties. The term is named by analogy with mid-life crisis.

Waahhh, nampaknya saya masih lagi tergolong dalam golongan berisiko ni, haha! ingatkan seusia awal 20-an saja, rupaya im counted! bangganya! MUDA lagi saya (tak pasal2 je;p)

Characteristics of quarter-life crisis may include:


  • realizing that the pursuits of one's peers are useless (oh! saya pernah merasakannya!)
  • confronting their own mortality (oh! tidak seteruk itu, di kala itu)
  • watching time slowly take its toll on their parents, only to realize they are next insecurity regarding the fact that their actions are meaningless (tidak pernah)
  • insecurity concerning ability to love themselves (saya memang sayang diri sendiri)
  • insecurity regarding present accomplishments (mmg sgt confused, di kala itu)
  • re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships (tidak sampai ke tahap me're-evaluate')
  • lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy (di kala itu, saya sebenarnya ramai kawan, tp seperti tiada kawan)
  • disappointment with one's job (ohh! yang ini tidak sama sekali, sudah berjanji dengan Pak Shuhay yang saya TIDAK akan menyesal memilih kerjaya ini)
  • nostalgia for university, college, high school or elementary school life (terasa "kan best zaman student dulu" itu lah saya di kala itu, serba tak kena)
  • tendency to hold stronger opinions (saya agak cepat terpengaruh juga, di kala itu)
  • boredom with social interactions (ada kalanya, rasa tak perlu bersosial)
  • loss of closeness to high school and college friends financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unanticipatedly high cost of living, etc.) ( kurang rapat disebabkan oleh komitmen masing2 yang tak sama, tiada kena mengena dgn financial sbb shopping itu always the best therapy for me, until now!:p)
  • loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies (terasa jugak lonely, tapi malas nak fikir, takdalah sampai nak bunuh diri, ape kejadahnya!)
  • desire to have children (ops! yang ni saya mmg belum rasa di kala itu, sbb mungkin emosi mmg tunggang langgang)
  • a sense that everyone is, somehow, doing better than you (selalu jugak, i always take it in a positive way masa tu)
  • frustration with social skills (agak rasa rendah diri)

saya mengaku pernah mengalaminya, mungkin ada lagi yang merasakannya, mungkin ramai atau mungkin semua merasakannya. oleh itu kita semua adalah normal. tiada apa nak dirisaukan.

namun saya sangat pasti masih ada elemen yang belum stabil di dalam diri hasil dari peredaran ke fasa ini. namun alhamdulillah, ada perubahan diri dalam pelbagai aspek, kekurangan masih perlu diperbaiki.

sekurang-kurangnya saya telah berjaya menempuh 'krisis' ini dengan baik! tiada kerosakan yang berlaku ke atas diri saya, baik fizikal ataupun mental. ditemukan pula dengan insan yang boleh menerima diri seadanya, berkongsi jiwa & rasa yang sama, ayah bonda yang sentiasa memberkati, adik-adik yang semakin dewasa dalam keluarga yang saling mengasihi.

marilah kita bersyukur kerana masih di sini, diberi ruang bernafas lagi:)

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